Ah, postpartum sex. A phrase that stirs curiosity, fear, and a touch of, “Wait, are we really talking about this?” The reality of returning to intimacy after childbirth is a rollercoaster of emotions and mild horror, but with a healthy dose of humour, it becomes a little less daunting.
In the thick of the postpartum fog, your sex life might feel like a distant memory.
Between sleepless nights, endless nappy changes, and the eternal question, “What day is it again?” intimacy doesn’t exactly top the priority list.
Hormones, exhaustion, and the all-consuming focus on your baby shift the landscape entirely.
Moms often get their oxytocin fix through breastfeeding and baby cuddles, the “cuddle hormone” also released during sex.
So, the thought of rekindling intimacy can feel like climbing Everest. Somewhere amidst the burping and midnight feeds, your partner might give you that look, a cautious, hopeful glance asking, “Is it safe to try?”
Rediscovering your body (and self-esteem)
Your postpartum body is different, and that’s okay.
Stretch marks, curves, and newfound strength tell the story of a superhero who created life.
Embrace this transformation and give yourself grace, there’s no rush to return to “pre-baby norms.”
Lower libido, arousal, and response are common postpartum, thanks to hormonal changes and the sheer challenge of raising a newborn.
if your partner’s worth his salt, they’ll be in awe of your incredible journey. Rekindling intimacy comes with its share of awkwardness, and laughter.
Just remember it is normal to have some discomfort the first time due to the vaginal dryness which is present no matter your mode of delivery! Obviously vaginal tears or an episiotomy can cause tenderness but don’t be surprised if tenderness exists post caesarean section too.
This is due to the vaginal dryness as well as swelling within the pelvic area, your body needs 6-8 weeks to recover. However, if sex continues to be painful beyond the first few attempts, please consult with your GP, gynae or pelvic health physio.
Finding your groove again
Postpartum intimacy isn’t just physical; it’s deeply emotional. You might feel nervous, vulnerable, or surprisingly affectionate. Either way, give yourself permission to feel whatever you’re feeling.
Communicate openly with your partner, whether that means trying, pausing, or just cuddling on the couch. Remember, you’re both navigating new territory, so kindness and patience are huge.
The good news is that things do get easier. As you and your partner adjust to the new normal, you’ll find moments to reconnect – maybe even laugh at the early attempts.
With a bit of time, patience, and humour, you’ll find a way to bring intimacy back into your relationship.
